Roswell!! ROSWELL!!

My life boasts few distinctions, but I must say that my job occasionally affords me some unique experiences (and I don’t just mean trying to keep a straight face when assisting someone wearing socks and sandals … and yes, this does happen, I work with sciencey people). To that end, yesterday I had the privilege of attending a 2-hour all staff meeting where we discussed, drum roll please, a survey!!!

One might initially think that this isn’t so bad – and for the first hour it wasn’t. But after everything about the survey was explained (it asked people what they thought of the library, and they told us!) then the real fun began…

You see, as some of our more tenacious employees explained, how do we know that any of this “survey” nonsense is real? Are the “graphs” that they made with the “data” really telling us anything?! How do we know that the people who answered the survey didn’t just have some vendetta against our fine institution?!?!!? This could be a vast conspiracy on the part of the bureaucracy to dupe us all into a false sense of complacency so that they can do whatever they want to the library, willy nilly!!!

Ack!! They could be lying to us with graphs!! We must maintain Constant Vigilance!!

This kind of talk lasted for an additional hour as people seized any open opportunity to dart quickly for the door before anyone else could intervene. Whee!