Snap Judgments for the Undeserving

Friday, December 24, 2004


I hope that everyone is tracking Santa like good little boys and girls.

The NORAD website is amazing ... my favorite part is the illicit pictures of Santa:

Santa EXPOSED*!!
*My knowledge of this amazing government service is due to Inoui, who hails (mostly) from Colorado

I am shamed

Well ... not really.

I've been having a lovely time in New Orleans, and have especially been enjoying the yummy food. However, I guess being with my family brings out my weird quirks (or, I should say, they COMMENT about my weird quirks, unlike my wonderful friends, who know that my quirks make me even more fabulous ... right? ... RIGHT??).

Anyway, some members of my family witnessed an incident in which the waitress at dinner caught me "liberating" some equal from the table next to ours. As if that wasn't enough, she was very chipper about it, and said "oooh! would you like some more??" and took this fistful of equal from her apron and put it at my place setting.

This has apparently become a very funny and popular story for dinner conversation. Great.

Monday, December 20, 2004

We all knew something was wrong ...

I think we'd all gathered that there was something very wrong about the Lord of the Ring's most cuddly character: Gollum. But now we can scientifically classify it!

Some British med students have given us additional insight into the many psychological issues of Gollum. I particularly like how they blame his deranged homicidal behavior partially on a Vitamin B-12 deficiency.

Everyone I know had better be getting enough of this:

Maybe it is really sad that I find this funny ... but nevertheless I do.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Ethnic Music??

Just had a fabulous dinner at PhoTauBay (Vietnamese restaurant my aunt Cheri discovered) ... the food was great, even the green pudding dessert that no-one but me would touch.

Also had mind-bending musical moment: As we entered the restaurant I noticed this odd violin music in the background and I thought How weird, maybe that's Vietnamese Violin Music ... That is, until we all sat down, and Davin said "Hey! Isn't that 'Yellow'"??

You heard me ... they were playing a String Quartet tribute to Coldplay. There is an entire CD. How can I exist without owning this??

Also, what's up with the angry man in the flower?

Friday, December 17, 2004

My life is a Willie Nelson Song...

You know, that one about roads, and going on them a lot. Only Willie is like a gypsy ... I guess I don't quite quality as "gypsy" yet ... maybe if I get a goat?

Davin and I drove to New Orleans today. Points of interest during the trip include, but are not limited to:
Large Objects - Huge White Cross, Giant golf tee and ball, miniature Washington Monument
Funny Town Names - Effingham ... I know ... we actually drove through it.
Eternal Questions - Ok, does anyone not from Missouri know what the "Show-me" state actually means?? It sounds vaguely dirty, yes no?*

* sadly, it is not ... like "Showgirls" it seems naughty, but is actually boring.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Happy Holidays

This is my family's christmas card picture this year ....
I love it: I have one eye, and Davin is doing a ridiculous girly dance.
I just can't believe we talked my parents into actually sending this out.

Merry Christmas, tra-la

Believe me when I say that this was one of the better pictures of Davin and I. Still, the one with us "Voguing" may have been a better choice.

Monday, December 13, 2004

Just for fun...

1. Go to Google

2. Type in "French Military Victories"

3. Hit I'm feeling lucky

I love the French.

Sunday, December 12, 2004

Here's what I don't need:

No, your eyes do not decieve you, this actually IS chastity-belt underwear

I know ... these are the best things ever ... or possibly the most frightening, I haven't yet decided.
What really makes this so wonderful, is the fact that these little gems are sold by Target ... how classy can you get?
***You may blame this story on Matt Drudge, without whom life might be normal.

Saturday, December 11, 2004

Sometimes it's good... pretend you're not stressed by wasting time on the 'net ....

Look what I found*!! If you haven't seen the new side of Google, you should.

(I was impressed: It knew I was searching for "Moira Kelly" by Mori... scary)

Soon, I'm thinking they will be able to diagnose any diseases you may have, or possibly just predict the future simply analyzing your keystrokes...

*My apologies if this is already passe ... I haven't been getting out much.

Thursday, December 09, 2004

I'm a shameless hussy

Too stressed and busy to blog ... send money.

Monday, December 06, 2004

When all else fails...

Use power tools!!

This weekend I was invited to a wonderful tree-trimming party by my best friend's fiance's brother's fiance!! (Heh heh, I enjoyed saying that).

It was a lot of fun, and us lucky party go-ers even got to make some of the ornaments! Turns out that after just one glass of spiked eggnog, I make really sad little deranged paper cranes ... I kept folding them backwards and upside down. Fortunately there was LOTS of space on the back of the tree for my little efforts.

Anyway, after the tree was all lit and decorated, and we were arranging the presents under the tree, someone noticed a disturbing increase in the angle of lean in the tree trunk. Despite all of our efforts with the tree stand, the tree would not stand on its own. What were we to do?? Tie the tree to the curtain rod?? Duct tape it to bookcases?? Never! Not when we have power tools!! Oh yes ... my friends actually drilled the tree to the floor. It actually worked surprisingly well ...

Friday, December 03, 2004

For those of you waiting for the obligatory cow joke:

Yes yes, I mooooved back to Wisconsin, hardy har har … For those of you who were waiting for the obligatory cow joke, I’m just not going to do it! Instead I offer what I think could be deemed more of a “homage to cows” by people with computers, free time, and a bovine-rich environment.

What did you say? That’s me?? I have no idea what you are talking about…

An example of the rich world of typographical cow-art:

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Snow snow snow!!!

Yesterday, my whole family got together to get our Christmas tree!! It was so picturesque, we went at night just as it started snowing ....

Of course, I was the one driving, and after several years growing soft in the "warm" climate of DC, I forgot how my car deals with cold weather ... so I couldn't initially figure out how to defrost all of the windows. So there I was, driving through the snow, crunched down by the steering wheel trying to see out of the tiny patch of defrosted-windshield. To my family's credit, they seemed completely non-plussed. Maybe Davin's driving has broken them in...

Oh, and the best part was that we were all singing Christmas Carols (no, I'm not kidding). The crowning moment was after a round of "Oh Come All Ye Faithful" I called out "And now in LATIN!!" ... and my parents proceeded to call my bluff. At least now I get to claim that it is clearly my parent's fault that I'm a complete dork.