Snap Judgments for the Undeserving

Friday, January 28, 2005

I'm an artsy kind of girl...

And even I am slightly perplexed by this: There’s a company that makes art action figures!! They offer a wide variety of figurines based on a seemingly totally random sampling of artists (so you can have a Degas ballerina fight Toulouse Lautrec’s green prostitute, the opportunity for epic battles seems endless).

Every girl needs one of these:

You know what’s really classy: taking bizarre Bochian medieval iconography and turning it into desktop collectables. The prospect for warping small children is almost irresistible.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

New Look!

I felt like a makeover ... and since it would be mostly pointless to get one for myself (what with my current painting projects) I decided to give one to my blog instead!

Since I clearly don't know anything about HTML or style sheets or anything actually important, the aid of my good friend Greg was indispensable (read: if anything doesn't work it is totally not my fault).

Comments and suggestions are most welcome ... come on, you know you want to tell me I'm pretty.

Monday, January 24, 2005

Just when we thought it couldn't get worse ... it can't!!

Rejoice everyone, it’s the Worst Day of the Year!

MSNBC reports that a British (yes, whom but a Brit would want to know this kind of thing?) Scientist calculated today, January 24th, as the year's “most depressing day”.

And hey, it involves MATH, so it must be true!

"The equation is broken down into seven variables: (W) weather, (D) debt, (d) monthly salary, (T) time since Christmas, (Q) time since failed quit attempt, (M) low motivational levels and (NA) the need to take action.

The model is: [W + (D-d)] x TQ /M x NA

I’ve noted, however, that they left out a key portion of the equation, namely :

[W + (D-d)] x TQ / M x NA = Penultimate Craptastic Day

So ... should we all be very disturbed, or just relieved?

Sunday, January 23, 2005

Washington EXPOSED!!

Snap Judgment exclusive!! Must credit Snap Judgment!!

My Washington operative (ie Davin) sent some exclusive images from this year’s presidential inauguration. Of course, he didn’t send any explanations with the pictures. Maybe he’ll fill us in sometime soon, hint hint.

Never mind all of the hoopla about seeing the president speak! Davin, in the words of Frank, did the inauguration his way … which apparently actually means with Don King. How? Why? Wherefor? I have no idea, you'll have to ask him.

Davin, the burgeoning politico, and his crazy roommates/friends:

Don King et al:

Friday, January 21, 2005

Witness my vast godlike powers!

As part of my current "job" as indentured servant to my parents, I am completing an interior renovation project of the house. I personally installed and wired three of these without killing myself or burning my house down*!!! All of you who know me will be dutifully impressed.

Wait for it ...


*Yes yes, technically my house could still burn down ... but I'm going for optimism here, geeze.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

In lieu of reality ... I choose this!

Instead of paying attention to current events today, I chose to while away my time watching 30 second versions of several films, as reenacted by bunnies. I feel confident that my time was well spent.

My problem with this amazing art form is that, in my opinion, the bunnies aren't cute enough! It is difficult to summon the empathy that I usually have for bunnies for these bloblike creatures with big ears ... on the other hand, their verison of "Jaws" was strangely cathartic.

*Featured in honor of G-town ... I'm sure my Alma Mater would be proud

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Whee! This is fun!!

This little device measures the relative frequency of a word in use in the English language!

Okay, I know that doesn't sound thrilling, but I promise it is actually fun to watch.

FYI: “toaster” is number 35427 in the 86800

Update: And, in case you were wondering, “plexiglass” is number 42061 ... I may have a problem ...

Sunday, January 16, 2005

Accessories are SO important...

It is almost impossible for me to believe that these exist … my personal favorite is the “crucifix” model, although I think I’d feel somewhat compelled to store stakes in it.

Perhaps even more awesome:

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Shake your booty

Well ... I definitely danced in a cage suspended above a dance floor last night.

In fact, maybe that's all I should say about that ... except to mention that I have completely cool friends who will let me do things like dance in a cage without disowning me.

Thursday, January 13, 2005


Oops! Due to lack of internet over the holidays, I missed the American Dialect Society’s word of the year! Never fear, if you haven’t been enlightened, you may be so below:

Although I am disappointed in the drabness of the actual word-of-the-year … the other categories are very interesting.
Here are this year’s winners:

- Word of the Year: red state, blue state, purple state: together, a representation of the American political map.
- Most Useful: phish: to acquire passwords or other private information (of an individual, an account, a web site, etc.) via a digital ruse.
- Most Creative: pajamahadeen: bloggers who challenge and fact-check traditional media.
- Most Unnecessary: carb-friendly: low in carbohydrates.
- Most Euphemistic: badly sourced: false.
- Most Likely To Succeed: red, blue, and purple states.
- Least Likely To Succeed: FLOHPA: The collective abbreviations of Florida, Ohio, and Pennsylvania, states said to have been important in the 2004 American presidential election.

*taken from article on the subject

I believe that without this valuable context, if I’d heard the verb “to phish” I would think that it meant something like: to eat cheese sandwiches in the back of a vintage van while experimenting with mind altering drugs.

But more to the point, I’d like to be considered a Pajamahadeen. Once it was explained to me who the Afghani Mujahideen were, it alllll made sense. What I particularly like about this analogy is that standard news media are represented by the USSR’s ground troops. Unfortunately, the definition includes the words “fact” and “check” … maybe I’ll have an easier time making my blog badly sourced.

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

So true:

I find this little jab at those of us who heart Apple to be quite amusing. Of couse it doesn't detract at all from the complete adulation that I have for my own personal Apple product ... it is just too shiny and pretty to be evil. Oh, and let's face it, I usually like evil.

Frankly, I think life would be better:

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Dance noodle, Dance!

Want to see a noodle shake his money maker? Me either ... but you should anyway, if only to share my pain.

If you are patient, there is a little song, it is fabulous. Money Quote: “they all want me! So tasty! So they boil, drain and eat me!”
Not just a noodle, the king of noodles:

This reminds me of my friend Amy, who tragically injured herself dancing the Macarena.

Thanks to: Dave Barry, without whom I might have lived without experiencing this.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

We all need more science stuff..

Slate is hosting a new Science blog … although perhaps I should clarify, it seems to be more of a pseudo-sciencey current events sort of blog, but as this is its first installment, I think it deserves observation. Besides, I’ll take my cutting-edge geekiness where I can get it.

I particularly enjoy the commentary on the idiotic “laser pen of terror” thing we have going around the anti-terror brigade these days. Just wondering, but did anyone, upon hearing of the arrest of the alleged laser pen wielder, breathe a sigh of relief and think “well, thank goodness we have someone looking out for our back” … personally I honestly thought that it was a joke.

Money Quote: “The government has no mechanism to regulate laser pens!!!!!![emphasis mine]"
True, true … but one would really hope that someone has the mechanism to regulate random unidentified people standing out on the tarmac.

Instrument of destruction:

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

I blame the virus

Want to know something frightening? When I get sick I apperantly become even more compulsive than I usually am. Who would have thought that this was even possible?

I have been out with the flu for the past three days - and in that time I have gathered approximately 1448 songs (or 4.93GB) for my new Christmas Ipod ... keep in mind, this is still a work in progress. As soon as I'm done modifying genres and creating playlists and arranging everything to my exact specifications, I'm going to just sit down and listen to music for 3.8 days straight.

Why? Because I CAN [insert evil laugh here]!!

Saturday, January 01, 2005

Dazed and Confused

Ack! I've been unable to access the Internet for 7+ days ... where am I?? what's going on?? I don't even know who I am anymore...

I think I may be back in Wisconsin, and there may have been a New Year's stop to do the Virginia Reel in Kentucky along the way, but I'll let you all know for sure once my head clears.