Snap Judgments for the Undeserving

Thursday, September 30, 2004

Happiness is a shiny new toy ...

The end is nigh ... just thought I'd warn everyone. I know this because I actually got my new phone, and I have actually figured out how to take pictures with it ... but the clincher is that I actually figured out how to send the aformentioned pictures to myself from my phone via email. All of you who know me will realize that this can only be a harbinger of doom, and that now the apocalypse is pretty much inevitable ...

My phone and me ... in my bombshelter-esque bathroom
**I'm going to try and remember to send everyone my new phone # ...
I thought posting it on the web was perhaps not the smartest idea ever ...
Please harass me if I forget.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Roswell!! ROSWELL!!

My life boasts few distinctions, but I must say that my job occasionally affords me some unique experiences (and I don’t just mean trying to keep a straight face when assisting someone wearing socks and sandals … and yes, this does happen, I work with sciencey people). To that end, yesterday I had the privilege of attending a 2-hour all staff meeting where we discussed, drum roll please, a survey!!!

One might initially think that this isn’t so bad – and for the first hour it wasn’t. But after everything about the survey was explained (it asked people what they thought of the library, and they told us!) then the real fun began…

You see, as some of our more tenacious employees explained, how do we know that any of this “survey” nonsense is real? Are the “graphs” that they made with the “data” really telling us anything?! How do we know that the people who answered the survey didn’t just have some vendetta against our fine institution?!?!!? This could be a vast conspiracy on the part of the bureaucracy to dupe us all into a false sense of complacency so that they can do whatever they want to the library, willy nilly!!!

Ack!! They could be lying to us with graphs!! We must maintain Constant Vigilance!!

This kind of talk lasted for an additional hour as people seized any open opportunity to dart quickly for the door before anyone else could intervene. Whee!

Monday, September 27, 2004

My "Doberman" needs a date ...

Not a newsflash, but: The British are a strange, strange people, and their animals are apparently no exception. What do Brit pets need now, you ask??

Fancy outfits??
Yummy Ice Cream???
No, they desperately need ... DATING!!
Yes, thanks to Lonely Heart Listings, redcoat pups everywhere are getting together.
At first I was mildly disturbed, because I thought this service was set up to romantically involve two pets. Upon closer inspection, however, I think the owners are just getting together for Walkies.

Money Quote: "In some cases, perhaps, people are hiding behind their dogs to try to meet people."
(I feel, somehow, as though this phrase is just begging to be made into a metaphor for the human condition ... )

Saturday, September 25, 2004

Queen Victoria's Secret...

Thanks to my good friend Inoui, I* have made this beautiful corset and bloomer combo!! Now, on to The Dress . . . (insert evil laugh here)

*I, of course, refers mostly to Inoui, partially to Inoui's mother . . . and slightly to me :)

My new hair!!

Just call me Paige Davis ... a really hot Paige Davis!!

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Everyone hates their cell phone ... except that one person we all want to smack.

Well, I have decided that it's high time I rejoined the 21st century, and have thusly embarked on a crusade (and I do not use that word lightly) to attain a cell phone. While not difficult, this project has been full of angst for me: What if I get a phone that breaks? What if my coverage is crappy?? What if I’m stuck with a service that I hate and barely works for the next two years of my life???

Amidst all of this inner turmoil I realized something: Maybe all cell phone plans suck. Suddenly I felt a lot better – since every decision I could possibly make would be wrong, it didn’t matter what company I signed with, so I could just do what I wanted to do all along: get the plan with the PRETTY PHONE.

It’s all about the pretty phone … if I ever actually get it ... from my crappy wireless company…

Just for fun, here’s an excerpt from a glowing review of my chosen plan on – it even has a “punny” title:

-Cingularly Inept-

Mobile2Mobile feature is to die for, unless they decide to charge for the calls anyway
don't have value 4your time; will screw you like you have never been screwed before

I’m not making this up.
Look up your plan – it’s fun, in a sick way!!

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Rather Odd??

An article I was recently reading suggested that Dan Rather may not simply be lying about the "W" memos, or acting in an audaciously absurd manner, or even a delightful combination of the two … in fact, he may just be completely crazy.

Also, he likes to dress up: Dan Rather as an Afghani Peasant circa 1980
Food for thought: a Google search for “Dan Rather” and “insane” yields over 144,000 hits … where as “Unabomber” and “insane” yields only 3,060 …

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

Tetanus shot - Concensus: Not worth my $5 co-pay.

I'm not usually squeemish about health issues, but my arm really smarts

I was recently advised by the trusty, and aptly named, "advice nurses" at Kaiser Permanente that I ought to re-up my Tetanus/Diptheria booster. They said many dire things like "If you don't, one day out of the blue, you'll just develop lockjaw" and "Diptheria looks like a cold, but it can lead to heart failure, paralysis and death". So today, I was intimidated into actually paying for the privilage.

Of course, after my shot, when the internal medicine nurse turned to me and said "Now, if your face starts to swell up, or you break out in hives, take a benadryl and call me right away", I began to wonder if I was really any safer...

Elephant Polo - do you think they have a Divot Stomp?

Polo, its not just for equestrians or enraged swimmers anymore…

Now it’s for Nepalese elephants!! Ah elephant polo - exactly what I’d invent if I were a drunk Scottish industrialist, amateur archeologist and former Olympian.

As an aside: If anyone was doing a serious “manhunt” for transsexual cheerleaders, this is apperantly where you would find them.

Monday, September 20, 2004

Resident Evil...what exactly defines an "apocalypse"??

Caution: Spoilers for "Resident Evil: Attack of the Clones ... no wait ... Apocalypse" below:

Thanks to my two wonderful friends, Dan and Ian, I was privileged to take part in a "Resident Evil" Marathon this weekend. Which brings up the fundamental paradox of the second film: Is nuking one town really an "apocalypse"?? You decide.

Actually, "Resident Evil" is quite enjoyable: The non-stop twists and action packed sequences actually cause the audience to forget, for at least a 1/2 hour, that there is a bloodthirsty flesh-eating army consisting of thousands of deranged zombies relentlessly pursuing the protagonists. But never fear, they come into their own in the end.
Go see it, it will change your life.

Friday, September 17, 2004

My brother, the drop-out!

Breaking news, SnapJudgment exclusive!!! Must credit SnapJudgment!!

Davin quit school!!! Davin quit school!!!

I'm quite serious - he burst into the library yesterday, still wearing his "celebratory campaign suit" and announced his intentions of becoming a drop-out political groupie. Apperantly he'd like to leave for Milwaukee tomorrow.

Now, will this actually take place?? We shall see....but given the apperant incentives....

Davin worked for Tim all summer, and among other things helped with this website.

UPDATE: It is official - Davin is no longer a Georgetown Student (at least for this semester), and is instead blazing path to fame, glory and ... global domination?

Thursday, September 16, 2004


Hello everyone, and welcome to the new outlet for my madness
(insert evil laugh here)

Thanks to my wonderful friend who shall be dubbed Inoui, I now have the privilege of being able to share my every thought with anyone who cares to listen! Huzzah!!

Due to some limitations of this Blog format, however, my Links section is a pathetic formless mass of non-linking text. Therefore, I am going to re-archive my "Links" section here - with actual real hyper links.

Visit these sites - or else:
Drew has sold his soul to Arkansas ... or ... something like that anyway:

Drew's Blog

Join Inoui's obsession with costuming, cloth, and other shiny happy things:

Costume Diva

Dan-the-man, and his band - way too cool for school:

See the man behind the blindingly hot star:

average white dan


For Fun, or "News" if you will:

Get the DL on DC from my girl Ana Marie:


Completely usless information about ... stuff


Other things that are fun to check:

Andrew Sullivan

Those crazy libertarians

Milwaukee's finest news source

Update: Due to Dan's fabulous suggestion that I actually learn something about HTML, I have created a links sidebar that actually works. However, I'm going to leave this up for posterity . . . that and it makes my blog look more filled-out.