Snap Judgments for the Undeserving

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Am I dreaming??

Or could this actually be real? I seem to have discovered a miraculous fusion of my two favorite things: Ipods and craft projects!!

I can’t believe this didn’t occur to me: someone after my own heart has created a DIY ipod desk stand. You can execute and decorate this project yourself, and it will save your precious ipod from everyday nicks and scratches.
It's sooooo beautiful:

Plus, you know, it looks like an altar. I’m thinking of doing one in gold with votive holders, so that I can properly adulate the apple gods. I know I’ll never truly be worthy, but a girl can try.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

My vast network of informants...

This is so great, my friends keep sending me little gems that I clearly need to share with the rest of you. My agents* are everywhere, mwahahahahahaha!!!

In this case, the fabulous Katie has enlightened me about the Star Wars Fan Film Awards (undoubtedly all of you fans already knew about this months ago, but just humor me, okay??)

And seriously, what more can you ask of the Internet than to provide you with countless hours amature movies glorifying the Star Wars Franchise?? Here's a good one to start with: Fans watching Episode 4 rebel when the movie reel breaks down, and hilarity ensues. Whopeee!!

From the aforementioned short, Chewie gets a new look (I like his fetching pink sweater)

I love the re-inactment of the medal ceremony at the end of "A New Hope" with candy necklaces. Classic.

*Or, would it be more classy to refer to all of you as my “Interns”?? I think the former makes me sound like some kind of criminal mastermind, and the latter makes me sound like I could be paid to do this. I’m honestly not sure which is better.

Monday, March 28, 2005

A homage to marshmallows

I suppose that the laws of nature dictate that given the existence of Peeps ™ and the paradigm of Lord of the Rings, that this was actually inevitable.
Gandalf Visits Bilbo:
(I can only assume that the ring must be destroyed in order to fend off Sauron and his microwave of doom)

It’s things like this that make me so grateful that I have such wonderful friends.
Thank you Nini, THANK YOU.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

I take it all back!

Okay, sorry for the mixed messages recently, but I’m totally scrapping the whole grad school idea.

You see, I’ve just recently learned that I can have my dream career: Piracy. I know I know, you’re thinking “Internet piracy is old news, and besides, we’re not entirely convinced that you really know how to use a computer, Anna”. I believe you’ve misunderestimated me, I’m talkin’ REAL piracy, with boats and eye patches and quirky sidekick pets.

According to Slate, this field is experiencing a rebirth, especially in the seas of Southeast Asia. And here I thought I’d lost this opportunity 200 years ago. Silly silly me.

I’m going to persevere, even though I’ll never be as pretty as Johnny:

All are invited to join my crew, although boat skills or Asian languages are a plus (since I have neither, and I’m thinking that they might come in handy … I wonder what the Mandarin equivalent of “Aarrrgh!!” is, hmmmmm...)

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Life imitates Star Trek

Or, at least mine does anyway

This should show my nay-saying girlfriend (who is convinced that we’ll kill ourselves off as a species before interstellar travel)!! Life is becoming more like Star Trek* ALL the time.

Unfortunately, this nifty device can currently only communicate with your “smart house”. But never fear, I'm sure it will soon be synched with our cell phones and Blackberries. And then when Apple comes out with their version of this it will be even prettier, and will probably play all of our music, store all of our photos, and perhaps even transmit nice things about us to other people. I'm getting one in pink.

*and since I’ve hopelessly classified myself as Geek already, I’m just going to say that by “Star Trek” I, of course, am referring to Next Generation, which was clearly the best of all Start Trek iterations.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

If you need me, I'll be in Canada!

My quest for a Grad school has just come to an end! I decided this week that I’ll be attending the University of Toronto for graduate studies in Art History*. Not only is their Art History Program an excellent one, but their Medieval Studies Department isn’t too shabby either. Besides, I’ve always wanted to study in exotic foreign countries … or …um … Canada.

So, who is gonna visit me??

*In doing this, I’ll be following in my friend Amelia’s footsteps … which means that at any moment I might suddenly end up in California.

Monday, March 14, 2005

How to know if you're gay:

Finding myself in a Doctor's waiting room today, I took the time to peruse this month’s edition of 17 magazine. Amid the extremely confusing messages in this publication (girls, dress really slutty! Also abstinence is the only way to keep from getting unspeakable diseases!!) was this gem: a section entitled “am I gay?”.

Now I’ll admit I was intrigued; this is an important question, and I’m glad that fine news sources such as 17 are standing up and taking notice. The section was very informative, and for your edification, here’s the helpful questionnaire* that they provide:

Life's most pivotal questions are always made easier by flow charts:
(click on the picture for a clearer view)

So my friend Greg reads this article, turns to Amy (his fiancé) and me, and says “Well guys, I’m pretty sure that this means I’m gay”. We were both very accepting.

*this probably violates about a zillion copyright laws, so mum’s the word.

Friday, March 11, 2005

Paging Doctor Anna ...

As the next phase of my home-improvement projects, I'm taking on the scary floor discoloration in the living room. After constructing an elaborate plastic room around the floor imperfections, I donned my official outfit, and commenced operations:

What branch of medicine do you think this is? Internal??

Here I am preforming a complex and delicate floor operation:
I always do surgery in bare feet ... don't you?
*Note: this post probably belongs in the evil lab, but I thought you all might appreciate my new look.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Mom's inherent distrust of cats is finally justified:

Owners please take note: beguilingly cute kittens may take you by surprise. I, for one, would just like to say that I’ve always distrusted them, with their adorable little paws, and cute little whiskers, and fetching purrs. Clearly they have to be PURELY EVIL (my kind of pet, really).

I’m going to go ahead and assume that somebody photo-shopped this:

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

The Manolo, he is fabulous

How could I have missed this for all of these months?? The Manolo seems to be just the kind of man I've been waiting for all my life: sexy, european, and obsessed with shoes.

The Manolo, he cries out in agony!
Not legwarmers!! Anything but that!! Aieee!!
Kudos to Dad, for making my life a little more magical ... is it okay if we have a really big wedding? I'm guessing The Manolo is a traditional kind of guy.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Iron chef is for sissies

This past weekend I, Chairman Anna, hosted my very own Copper chef competition, pitting the gastronomic wits of my good friends against one another. It was, even if I say it myself, an enormous success: no appendages were lost or fires left unquenched, and a vast majority of the dishes created were surprisingly edible.

So now I’m sure you’re all curious (unless you were there) to know whose cuisine reigned supreme!?!?!?

Apperently that of bad 80’s action dramas: Yes, that’s right, the “A-team” emerged victorious.

No, not that A-team:

THIS A-team!!

And, despite the sugar-incident (below),

A good time was had by all*:

*Bonus points if you can remember what the heck was so funny in this picture.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

I just called Poland!!

And you know what? I feel that it was too easy. There should be really difficult operators, or long waits to be connected or something, that way I'd feel like I'd accomplished more. As it was, I just dialed a ridiculously large amount of numbers and was instantaneously and miraculously connected to my friends (who were clearly sitting at home, just hoping against hope for me to call) .

I know, I know, some people must call Poland all the time. Maybe I’m really struck by this because they literally moved to Poland YESTERDAY and yet they already have a phone and a computer with internet access and everything. It took me forever just to talk Verizon into giving me a home phone at my old apartment after I had been living there for weeks, and I think I had to sell them my soul in the process. Clearly I should just have moved to Eastern Europe.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

My little crisis:

I realized last night, in an attempt to explain to someone what my blog is about (nothing), that I haven’t been very true to title of my blog, which claims that I make ludicrous sorts of unfounded judgments. So I decided that I might want to do this every once in a while … oh the burdens of artistic integrity.

Snap Judgments of the day:
Banana Bunker: stupid! (and mildly disturbing, really)

Singing Happy Birthday in Public: annoying AND illegal

Dan Rather: Who still cares? And why is there a website about it??

The experimental quiche Greg and I concocted yesterday: yummy and non-lethal.

The West Wing song*: a new way for Anna to embarrass herself!

*There may have been a live performance of this on my part during West Wing last night, after which there was wild applause. At least my friends are indulgent. I feel like I’m CJ doing “The Jackal” (and if you know what I’m talking about, you watch too much West Wing too, yay!).

Update: It was suggested to me that this would be more amusing if I included the lyrics to the West Wing song - unfortunately the song only consists of the names of the actors and characters involved in the current season of WW. So here it is, but I warn you, it's really boring when not set to the inspiring music:

West Wiiiiiing
We-est Wiiiiiing
Stockard Channing, Abbey Bartlet
Dule Hill Charlie Young, Alison Janey CJ Cregg
Janel is Donna, Richard Schiff is Toby
John Spe-encer he is Leo, and Bradley Whitford is Josh Lyyyyyyy-man
Martin Sheen, President Bartlet.