Snap Judgments for the Undeserving

Monday, February 28, 2005


I know you've all been vaguely worried about this, probably for years. But never fear, I have discovered what to do with your old books once we reach that beautiful day when everything is on the Internet: make them into furniture!!!

Hey, it's better than burning:

Although I suppose once you’ve made the book-case you won’t have anything to put on it … Oh the Irony. Fortunately for me, I’m hoping to have an extensive tchotchke collection when the crucial moment comes.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

So very confused:

So, this seems pretty normal, right?

Just your average Russian-centric news site with a boring name.
Yeah, that’s what I thought until I found this:

What the...???

This story was apperantly some kind of secret de-coder into the dark underworld of this news site. This story links to others whose headlines include:

So, do you think “Russian craftsman makes edible book out of cookies” stories are lurking somewhere deep in every newspaper … or is this one just special?

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Weirdest alumnae recruitment moment ever.

So, yesterday I went as moral support with my best friend to a doctors appointment of hers. After the doctor completed the procedure, he started chatting with us, asking us about our jobs and where we went to school.

After cleverly glossing over my unemployment, I told the nice doctor that I had graduated from Georgetown. So he looks up at me and says “Well, I’m a Hoya!” We then chat about this for a bit, and it turns out that he’s known my dad (another G-town grad) for years. This, of course, all takes place in front of my poor friend, who I’m sure was quite surprised at the turn her doctor’s appointment had taken.

Does it stop there? Oh no … his first thought when learning that I was a fellow graduate was to say “So, are you in the Georgetown Alumnae Association??”

Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Their people are everywhere I tell you!! Is there any means of escape?? Do you think they’d be satisfied with anything less than my life’s blood?

Monday, February 21, 2005

Zoom zoom zoom

You know what? I’ve realized something truly important about my life, and the choices that I make about the things that surround me: My phone just doesn’t have enough features.

This would make life better, right?

If anyone is feeling generous, I would prefer the suped-up* version with the special “pull-back” technology. I have one word for you: Wheeeeeeeeee!!!

*Or is it “souped-up”?? Google isn’t being very clear, and I don’t know where else to turn for colloquial spelling conundrums.

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Zee Dear! Zey are French!!

It really explains a lot if you think about it, especially their personal hygiene and attitude problems*.
As I got into my car yesterday I was surprised to find that I had an audience … albeit and audience that doesn’t care that I exist.
You lookin' at me?

(I swear ... there are dear in that photo ... my phone leaves something to be desired in a camera)

I was about 20 feet away from them, and yet they were pretty non-challant about the whole “person-getting-into-a-car that could then run them over”.

They just sort of looked at me like they were saying “f*** you … what, do you want us to care about you? We poop on your lawn and stand in front of your car when you want to leave … what are you going to do about it, hunh??"

Maybe they’d respect me if I got me one of these:

Every girl might need one

*I’m not really knocking the French, being as I am a franc-o-cheese-o-phile … but I thought the gross generalization about them was fairly funny.

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

I'm too sexy...

…for my pants.

Because of my home-improvement projects I’m now a regular at the hardware store, the paint store, and the Home Depot. This is great, because I get to learn neat stuff about things like spackle. However, I’ve recently discovered a new joy to these places: fantastically bad pick-up lines.

The last time I went to the paint store, for example, these two guys buying paint turned to me, looked me over, and said:

“So…. Are those your paint pants?”

I wanted to reply “Yeah, and I haven’t showered in days…”

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Luke ... I am your dinner!!

I thought I would celebrate my return to the blogosphere with something truly important, such as this:

I guess he can't store the helmet:
I don't know about you, but I'd just be tempted to give him my Mrs. Potatohead handbag and flower earings (I knew I was keeping this stuff for a reason!!)...

Monday, February 07, 2005

Covert Military Operations

I was in the State Department today ... and although I would never wish to compromise government secrets I will say that they have a giant seal, and that their tomato-basil-mozerella sandwiches are surprisingly delicious.

I've spent the last few days harassing my wonderful friends Inoui and Dave (who, by the way, took responsibility for me in the previously described State Department ... they are very brave) before they embark on their adventure in Poland. They are truly great friends, although I discoverd that Dave has been hiding this from me for goodness knows how long. How did I live without this kind of information??

Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Oh the fundamental interconnectedness of it all

I'd like to thank Dan for tying together my curiosity about sweet potatoes and Lord of the Rings ... see his contribution to my previous post here (Po-tay-toe).

His "comments" reminded me that I found these strange, and somewhat amusing LOTR screencaps. I believe that these are made by people who have even more free time than me.

My favorite is the "Catapult" one ... in which someone at the Council of Elrond has a brilliant idea (I'm sorry, sometimes I'm amused for no reason).

Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Just call me Alton Brown...

So ... what, exactly, is the different between a Sweet Potato and a Yam??

I don’t know why I asked my father this question yesterday, but the answer was fairly surprising, so I thought I should share this with all of you. And yes, I know that the fact that I have even asked this question is probably a warning sign … but you all didn’t expect me to become more normal with time … did you?

The answer plunges us into a Matrix-like underworld in which nothing is as it seems:
Turns out, there is no Yam ….Everything sold in the US, whether called a “sweet potato” or a “yam” is actually a sweet potato.

But perhaps more disturbingly, sweet potatoes are actually MORNING GLORIES??


Sometimes I think I'd be better off not knowing these things.